Political Jokes

PUMPING

CSL quit politics after his sex scandal. Since he had a talent for pumping, he decided he will go into the petrol business. There, he reckons he can still pump a little, and for once be paid for it. As a politician, he had talent. But selling petrol wasn't something he was trained for so sales was slow. One day, he decided to put up a promotion to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon Zam pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. Doc CSL told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

Zam guessed 8, and Doc CSL said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.

"A week later, Zam, along with his friend Kairy, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

Doc CSL again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Zam guessed 2 this time. Doc CSL said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.

"As they were driving away, Khairy said to Zam, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Zam replied, "No it ain't, KJ. It's not rigged at all. My wife won twice last week."......................................................................................................

NAMES OF DOLLS

Naji has 2 girlfriends and 2 wives.

He called them : 1st girlfriend ..... baby doll

2nd girlfriend ..... Mongolian doll

1st wife.....barbie doll

2nd wife.....panadol !...................................................................................

Two old retired politician

Two old retired politicians decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. CK Coy was dumped because of the Port K Fiasco and Samy was dumped when a bridge collapsed, killing 100 Indians. Nothing to do, they took a lot of drinks and ended up at the local brothel, managed by a part-time florist. The Madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her Manager, "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll on each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."The Manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs to take care of their business. As they are walking home, the CK Coy says, "You know, I think my girl was dead!"

"Dead?" says Samy, "Why do you say that?"

"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.

"Samy says, "Could be worse - I think mine was a witch."

"A witch, why the hell would you sat that?"

"Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window, taking my teeth with her.".......................................................

FART

Somebody farted during the inquiry.

Inquiry officer asked Anan first: Did you fart? Anan replied : You must be drunk or mad.

The officer then asked Maha : Did you fart? Maha answered : I don't remember. Anyway it's my prerogative to fart and I don't have to answer to anybody.

He then asked Euso : Did you fart? Euso answered : If anyone wants to fart, what can I do?

The officer then turned to Linga : Did you fart?

Linga replied : Sounds like mine, smells like mine ..........but....it is not me.........................................................

AIRPORT CONVERSATION

Ba La was seated next to a little girl on an airplane that was leaving KLIA. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.

"The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Ba La, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know", said Ba La, "How about who is going to win the next election?" "OK", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?

"Ba La thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea.

"The little girl then asks, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss who is going to win the next election when you don't know shit?" :)